Posted in challenge, diary, goals, lifestyle, weightloss

Day 19 – 3rd Mar ’17

Today I want to talk about my diet. I am quite into it by now and other than a few cheats here and there, I am pretty much following it. I guess that’s helped maintain the weight (well, we have to forgive a few grams, this way and that when we’re nearing 50, don’t we – on that note, I would just like to remind myself that Jennifer Aniston just turned 48 and wtf?)

I have a smoothie in the morning. It has banana, spinach, flax seeds, oats, honey, grapes and skimmed milk. I have half the portion at 9 and another half at 11. Mornings, I can even get away with not eating. I don’t crave at all. But, I’ve started making myself eat. Or rather, Nayan has started forcing me to eat.

Well, the next meal is at 1, when I have brown rice with vegetables and grilled meat or a chappathi wrap, something filling, there’s quite a bit of vegetables involved. Since I started clocking, my evening snacking has become miles better. I allow myself 2 crackers with hummus and tea at 4 and one more cracker at 5. That usually keeps me going for quite a while. I have a sandwich or oats for dinner, or if I don’t feel like eating at all, I have a glass of milk before I sleep. Maybe I should eat something more in the night. It’s just that I’m not hungry. But like how I learned to eat breakfast, maybe I can learn to eat dinner.

Up top – today’s healthy vegetable and wheat noodle broth for lunch.

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Day 18 – 2nd Mar ’17

I know I didn’t blog yesterday, but I don’t feel too bad about it. I was so darn good, I still haven’t got over how amazing I was yesterday. I exercised. I cleaned up the house (it had fallen into chaos and disrepair due to my disability, Nayan isn’t a clean person) I finished a chapter (finally made it out of that bit which was irritating me and now it’s moving…can do that blurry bit later) I always love typing out the story (other than blurry bits, which absolutely irk me) because I’ve usually forgotten how it goes and it always comes to me with, oh, that’s what happened and I can’t wait to go on to the next chapter. That’s when the typing is super fast, cos I can’t wait to know what happens next.

Actually, writing is much the same to me. I never know the story before hand. I have an idea and I start off and there’s always ‘oh’ moments where I find out what happens next. It’s the most wonderful feeling. If I force it, that’s when I get blurry bits. That’s because I’m either distracted or not in the mood at that time. Maybe that’s how writer’s block feels, in which case, I urge you to push through with some crap. You can always figure it out by the end.

Well, as you can make out, I’m totally pumped about my writing right now. Went out to finish some chores in the evening before I went for physio and ended up straining my leg again. So couldn’t exercise today. But at least I’m getting back in the groove. Was totally awesome with my diet too. 83.3! Only a few grams, but at least it’s going in the right direction.

Watched the second Big Little Lies on Tuesday. It is still kind of dragging. I’m waiting for it to pick up. Does anyone watch Endeavour? It’s a British detective series that I so love. The new season seems good. Can’t wait to see what happens next.

Up top – This is dog when I get into my writing or typing, just so fed up with the whole thing.

Oh, and btw, I decided to change the numbering of the Days on the blog title. When I miss days, it’s very confusing the way it was. I think this is better.

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Day 16 – 28th Feb ’17

‘Clawing out again’

Well, it feels that way, like I’m in this deep, endless hole and am trying to claw my way out. Just to add to my woes, I stepped on the scales and I’m 83.9. Yes, gasp, that’s one kg more and in the opposite direction. I know, it sucks and I hate it, but what do I do. I’m supposed to see the doctor this evening and if he gives the thumbs up, I’ll start working out from tomorrow.

I’ve been pretty good with my diet, though. I’ve started ‘clocking’ myself. My worst periods of eating are in the afternoon, between 2.00 to about 5.00. I walk around rooting for snacks and if I don’t find any (which I know I won’t, cos I make sure there’s nothing around) I stuff my mouth with all sorts of rubbish. With ‘clocking’ I’m setting time limits. I’m not saying I can’t eat, but I make myself wait for a couple of hours, promising myself a treat at the end of it. Yes, in the afternoons, if I’m home, it is that bad. If I’m out, I don’t yearn. I’m distracted. But, stuck at home, I crave. I have managed to fool myself with clocking, but I hope it lasts.

Up top – Nayan is really big on good presentation and her plating makes me want to eat the food. So, I’m trying it too!

I  made a good dent with writing today. There’s a lot of other work piled up which is making it difficult for me to breathe (I hate work piling up). It’s tax month in March. Whoosah! Let’s get walking again and stop panicking! Once I’m back on my feet, I can freak out.

Watched Star Wars 4, 5 and am halfway through the 6th now. I was quite young when I watched it the first time around, and I guess I must have watched it once more at some point. I can’t have such a good memory, but I really like the old ones over the prequel. Did Carrie Fischer lose weight for the Jabba the Hutt scene? She is not sexy, she’s just skinny! I guess those days skinny was sexy and there is a lot of skin. It actually shocked me. I didn’t remember this much skin.

Off to the doctor in the evening… also second episode of Big Little Lies today. Hoping it picks up.

Oh, and P.S. for anyone who read yesterday’s post, I had typed Justin Trudeau for Justin Theroux. Blush, blush. Something rankled and I kind of got it as I was passing out last night. I’ll go and make the correction now. Teehee!

Posted in challenge, diary, goals, lifestyle, resolutions, weightloss

Day 15 – Feb ’17

I know what you’re thinking, yeah, she started off all kicked as usual and it went down the pooper, so, what’s new. Well, this is. That I came back and even if I miss a day or days here and there, I will keep coming back. That in itself is a huge achievement. Glory be!

But that’s not what we’re here for (though it is a big deal to me, okay?)  82.9!. I can’t help it. My knee locked up again, last week and I was in terrible pain and had to go for an MRI and tests (it’s a meniscus tear) and stuff and the upshot is I’ve been in bed, depressed and angry and stuffing my face (the only person enjoying this whole thing has been dog -there he is, up top- he has me by his side 24/7)  I’ve been asked not to walk, which is a big blow to me, since I think best when I walk and work out my stories and it’s just not fair. I’m seeing the doc tomorrow – follow up.

So, apart from feeling sorry for myself, I really haven’t achieved much. I spent this morning watching the Oscars. We get it at some unearthly hour and when I awoke, Nayan was already watching and so I just got hooked. I always like the Oscars. Matt Damon and Jimmy Kimmel were a riot and so was the best film fail. What was that? How does the Oscars do that? Isn’t there stuff in place to prevent the envelopes getting mixed up? Didn’t Nicole Kidman look gorgeous? Jennifer Anniston looked sweet and I love seeing her with Justin Theroux. I feel like telling Brad Pitt, ‘in your face’, though I don’t think she really cares.

And I totally didn’t get why they didn’t add a clip of Bill Paxton at the end of the Memoriam. I felt really bad when I heard about him. I really liked him. I’m not a big fan of Emma Stone. I was, I swear, I loved her in The Help and in Easy A, but she seems to have gone all Anne Hathaway and is like super serious and speechy. So… though I guess it’s okay that she got it, I had to mute her speech.

I’m trying to get back, at least, to doing Pilates, hopefully, tomorrow. There’s no real strain on my leg, so… and let’s see what the doc says. Toodles!

Posted in bassethound, challenge, diary, goals, lifestyle, resolutions, weightloss

Day 10 – 22nd Feb ’17

‘I have to lose weight…’

I know, I know, I missed a day, but I’m back and that’s what’s important. Truth is, I didn’t feel like writing, because I was in too much pain. My knee locked up again. I was standing on the balcony with Tristan and admiring my plants. He ran into Aishwarya’s(that’s my older daughter who doesn’t live with us anymore. She’s all fancy and lives and works in Bangalore) room and jumped on her bed. Her bed is rather high and I shouldn’t have done it, but it was one of those crazy moments which you regret. I jumped up after him and wrenched my knee. The pain, as you can imagine, was excruciating and I was very sad because the rest of the day and the next went for a six. (up top – dog petting- what you shouldn’t do!)

I tried to eat less, but when you’re in pain, you tend to eat your feelings. There’s still some pain but I’m able to put weight on the leg today. Now you see the urgency and importance of losing weight. I hobbled over and checked my weight and I’m 82.7. Well, we just have to grit our teeth and start over, don’t we?

The pain killers screw with my head and I can’t focus enough to write, so binge watched Helix. You can imagine my desperation if I’m binge watching Helix. It’s okay, something to watch. But the big disappointment this week has been Big Little Lies. I don’t know what I was expecting and I’ve read the book, maybe that’s why I’m so critical. But the first episode did not pull me in. I feel it’s the direction, it felt fragmented. Hopefully, it’s teething troubles and will get more intense as it progresses. I think basically, I’m not able to slot it as yet. I love all the actresses, Nicole Kidman is flawless, Reese wWitherspoon is the perfect Madeline and I love Shailene Woodley and Zoe Kravitz.

Maybe I should make weekly goals, like a kg a week. I’m sure that’s doable. I have to lose weight, I have to lose weight, I have to lose weight…

Posted in challenge, diary, goals, lifestyle, resolutions, weightloss

Day 8 – 2oth Feb’17

‘In my defense’

I’m being so bad and it’s only 8 days in. It’s hardly been a week. I want to say, “in my defense”, but how difficult is it to make healthy choices? So (whispers) “in my defense”, Mom had some friends over for lunch and wanted me to help. It was such a crappy afternoon, I felt like Bridget Jones. I swear, I really have no idea what they were talking about. The conversation swirled over me in a kind of haze. (You know, how in Sherlock, the texts appear, one after another, kind of swirling about? That’s how it felt) I ran around serving them and smiling and trying not to get bothered by the fact that one of Mom’s friends thought I was Mom’s sister and when she found out I wasn’t, added insult to injury by saying, “Oh, I’m sorry. I did wonder. Her sister is much fairer, isn’t she? She’s not as dark as you?” and I had to laugh a “how extremely funny and droll” guffaw. And then, I ate my feelings!!

The evening did not fare better. A friend had called me over because her school friends had come down from all over the world and they were meeting up at her place and she wanted me to meet them. (What’s with meeting other people’s best friends who I don’t know from Adam?) They were a nice bunch but I spent the evening listening to their school stories and laughing at things I didn’t understand and wasn’t a part of, and downing beers to keep the smile going and then, I ate my feelings!! (“in my defense”)

That’s all I’m giving you. I feel absolutely ashamed but sometimes life happens, you know (god, I can actually hear the whine in my thoughts, and the beer) And bouncing back always takes a couple of days. And I have a birthday to attend tomorrow. People really shouldn’t have get-togethers on a Monday. I mean, the whole week could collapse, if Monday does.

Up top is exactly how I feel today. Ugly and fat and not fair, and did I mention, ugly and fat?! If nothing else, I will be truthful. It’s the least I can do while I keep calm and carry on…

Posted in challenge, diary, goals, lifestyle, resolutions, weightloss

Day 7 – 19th Feb’17

This should be called ‘Chasing the meat’. Nayan got it into her head that she wants to buy beef and try some recipe that she’d seen. She says we can have it on our ‘cheat day’. And there’s something you should know about Nayan. When she gets a bee in her bonnet, it doesn’t matter what anyone else feels about it, it has to be done.

As usual, we were late setting out, because my girls have no sense of time. We never reach anywhere on time. I used to get hassled about it but it felt that as they became adults all I did was get angry. It took a while to just accept that we were always going to be late and people would say mean things and to learn to ignore them. I mean, I did try getting them to get ready soon, but it meant that we always left with all three of us in a bad mood. I took the easy way out and now I just get ready and wait, quietly (#livingwithadultchildren)

Coming back to our day out, we left in time for lunch and so, instead of chasing the meat, we chased lunch, and spent the next hour looking for a place to eat. We ended up at this cute place called Kipling Cafe, which was a walk from the beach but it was bloody expensive. Thank God, we were on a diet. If you’re really rich or want to impress someone, take them there, otherwise you’re just paying for the ambiance. The food was good, nothing to write home about. That’s us, up top, before we realized how expensive everything was.

We drove around looking for a pot shop for my ‘Farming’. I like calling it farming as opposed to gardening. It has a rustic, earthy feel to it. I should probably explain ‘pot shop’ as not a shop that sells weed, but one that actually sells pots and plants (though there is this idea floating around about growing weed, just for the fun of it, I don’t really smoke up, don’t like it) I was actually looking for a large rectangular pot to grow herbs in, now that my celery has taken off. And, living in an apartment, you know what the most irritating part is, you have to buy mud. I envy people who just walk into their garden and dig up mud!

And, yes, we did find the beef. It’s marinading, I’ll tell you what came of it, when and if it gets cooked. I was able to indulge myself and my camera (a Canon DSLR) a little bit at the beach after lunch, but it wasn’t a particularly impressive day and so they aren’t particularly impressive pictures. The trick is to be around during sunrise or sunset to catch the vivid colours. Oh well, another day…

P.S: Didn’t exercise (can I write this smaller, or maybe people just won’t read till here), but it’s a Sunday, and we went out and we were good with our diet…and so…

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Day 6 – 18th Feb ’17

Damn, I’m such a loser!!! I had two places to hang out at last evening and I didn’t go to either. I gave excuses for both, made a cocktail and watched Captain America – Winter Soldier for like the eighth time. It’s not like I love the movie, in fact, of the entire series in the franchise, I found the first few Captain Americas, the most boring. But you know how it is, when you get stuck, and even though the remote is just a stretch away and you don’t make the effort…yeah!

Nayan’s PMSing big time and apparently she’s a loser too (we’re just two losers living together) So, she ranted and raved about how her life isn’t going anywhere and I made appropriately soothing noises, but I did one better in the evening and whipped up a Sidecar (didn’t have cognac, so made do with brandy) and it did make her feel miles better, and deeply indebted to me.

She made the most amazing chicken, sweet potato and onion for dinner, all roasted and juicy (note to self-I must start taking pictures) But for my part, I exercised and I walked. Oh, and I cooked lunch too. A light fried rice with brown rice, steamed veggies tossed with garlic, pepper and salt, chicken stirred with ginger, coriander and capsicums, and spinach and cottage cheese, tossed. Hm, it did taste as good as it sounds. Two spoons of oil for the entire thing.

Writing was a fail though. I hate leaving large gaps between bouts of writing, especially in more complex parts of the book, because it takes a couple of days to get into the groove again and those parts always sound a bit forced. And this book is defeating me. I need to take a few days out from the outside world and crunch down for a week and finish the book. But there’s just too many chores that have piled up when I was sick last month and need attending to, that I’m unable to take time out and it’s frustrating me. And how does one work when a needy dog lies on the laptop, preventing you from doing any work???

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Day 4 – 16th Feb ’17

Last night was the worst. I’m not sure what upset my stomach, but I was up for more than half the night (okay, I’ll stop, TMI) The only good thing is I’ve lost a kg (which really doesn’t mean a lot, ‘cos in my experience, this kind of loss bounces back in a couple of days)

Yesterday was a good day, though. I met a new podcaster. She was an inspiration. She has a congenital disease and has been living with it all her life. She is nearly forty but doesn’t look it and she has to carry her oxygen with her. She recorded her first podcast yesterday on going through life with an illness. Her positive attitude and sense of humour quite took my breath away and puts my meagre life into perspective.

Yes, I podcast too. I think I mentioned that I’m an author. I’ve been podcasting my short stories and I just started a travel podcast. I’m still not very happy with the quality of the podcasts so I’m not sharing it as yet. They’re a start up and are kind of learning as they go and that isn’t saying a lot. If and when it gets better, I’ll share the link, in case there’s someone out there who is listening.

Haven’t touched my book in two days, so that’s a fail. But it’s been a particularly difficult chapter. See, the thing is, when you’re writing, you sometimes get to a part where it’s a bit, a bit…blurry, yup, that’s the word. You can either sit there figuring it out or move on and put a pin in the blurry bit and come back to it later. So, now we’re at “later” and it’s still blurry. It’ll work itself out, it always does, but it needs a clear head and a couple of days of complete focus, which I haven’t had over the last few days. So, I’m just pushing through again. Will have a go at it during the next draft.

That cover on top was my first book. I published it in 2011. It’s available on amazon at  Fun times!

Posted in lifestyle, weightloss

The 2017 Challenge

It’s a little late in the year to be starting a resolution blog. But I really need help and some kind of order to follow through. It’s been a disastrous start to the year and I’m not talking about the Donald. Started the New Year with the flu and was sick for days. Before I could recover, it was Nayantara’s birthday and then mine, so, there was no point in starting on a routine then. (Had the worst case of PMS too, before my birthday, my 49th by the way)

Then, went on a trip to Rameshwaram to accompany some elders in the family but came back with a cartilage tear in my knee and excruciating pain that took a couple of weeks to heal. (Since I couldn’t get out of bed, I couldn’t exercise, and I ate my pain and boredom away)

I had some work in Bangalore and of course, one doesn’t go to Bangalore and not drink, eat and make merry, so I indulged heavily and with gusto. (I was on a roll, you see)

Now, 6 weeks into the New Year, and I feel fa-a-a-a-t and lethargic and unfit. I am now back from Bangalore, and am ready to start a regimen. (I haven’t stood on the scales as yet, ‘cos I’m scared, maybe tomorrow. I really need to know where I’m at now)

This is my 2017 blog and I hope to be at least 15 kgs lighter (You frown? You don’t know my weight right now!! Actually neither do I ) by the end of the year, (End of the year?? Hey, let’s be realistic.This is going to be struggle!) far fitter than I am now, finished with both the books I’m writing now as well as the five short stories, caught up with those little chores that moving into a new house requires (Btw, it’s a been a year since I moved. I really need to get my life together, but it’s harrrd!) I’m hoping blogging about my day will goad me to keep to my goals, pull me up when I don’t and inspire me when I do.